THE SEX DIARIES: I had three children (and an ex-husband) at home, making sex impossible. It was time to brave 27-year-old Eliot's flat… and flatmates

It was difficult to find location to person activity pinch my beautiful person Eliot. He was 27 and lived pinch flatmates. I was 48 and lived pinch my 3 kids, a Cockerpoo and an angry ex-husband I still had not officially divorced.

Seven months agone Simon had moved backmost successful to nan family location to laic declare to it; nan only use of this statement was that I could enactment retired for nan full night. But nan hotels that Eliot and I were forced to spell to each added up.

So I was relieved erstwhile Eliot suggested I travel complete to his.

He said he'd navigator a curry, for illustration an existent boyfriend, moreover though he wasn't 1 yet; nan position of our four-month narration had not been discussed. I was crazy astir him, though. All time agelong he ran nether my tegument for illustration electricity.

But I reasoned that if Eliot was consenting to fto maine beryllium viewed by his flatmates, who were hardly retired of university, things must beryllium going well.

Eliot lived successful North London, much than an hour's travel from mine. But location he was, handsome arsenic hell, opinionated astatine his beforehand doorway successful his shorts and T-shirt, for illustration a prize I'd yet to claim.

Still, it felt unusual to beryllium here. Eliot's level was carved from nan attic of nan benignant of location galore of my procreation could person afforded successful its entirety astatine his age. I envied my joined friends and their 1 tidy life. I had 2 lives now, and I didn't cognize who I was yet successful this caller one.

My telephone buzzed. 'Hello Mama [sad look emoji] erstwhile will u travel home???' publication five-year-old Emi's text.

'I'll spot you tmr!' I replied. 'Love you!'

I tried to shingle disconnected my guilt. Instead of slaving complete a family dinner, I was admiring Eliot arsenic he bent complete nan oven. The mid-life algorithm connected my telephone had precocious suggested an article titled 'Five ways to hole your stalled activity life'. I only request one, I thought.

Before we could flight to his room, 1 of his 2 flatmates arrived. Did Eliot flinch, aliases was I imagining it? Maya was from Spain, and loud. 'Eliot has told maine each astir you!' she exclaimed. 'And I didn't cognize what to expect. But you look great!'

How to respond? Apparently it's good to beryllium old, but it's still not good to look old. My look had a clip limit.

Eliot said quickly: 'She's gorgeous!' As Eliot and Maya caught up, I did not mention my kids aliases my existent life. Thankfully, soon Eliot hustled maine into his room. It was truthful tiny, he could hardly guidelines up.

'I haven't done my press-ups,' he said, and dropped down to nan floor. 'Will you count them?'

He did press-ups nan difficult way, his elbows pressed into his ribcage, each 100 of them. I watched his muscles moving nether his skin.

'I for illustration nan emotion of being tight,' he said erstwhile he sewage up, slapping his muscles. I envied that feeling, which I ne'er had, moreover erstwhile I was young. My assemblage has ever been an adversary, and now much so, pinch its treacherously sagging tummy and its inability to unfastened tightly screwed lids.

'What do you spot successful me?' I said. Ideally, I wanted him to smother maine pinch kisses earlier giving maine a tally down of my astir intelligent comments. But he replied successful wide terms: 'You're funny, you're hot, you're great.'

But erstwhile we laic down together my worries dropped away. Being truthful adjacent to him made maine dizzy. I needed my glasses to spot him clearly, but that wasn't an action now we were successful bed, truthful I inhaled him instead. He was delicious: brackish and earth.

When he kissed maine I thought I mightiness walk out. I put my hands connected his pumped-up pecs; I would ne'er get complete nan consciousness of him: difficult muscles, soft skin.

As we started to person activity I could perceive Maya successful nan room putting distant nan washing-up. I didn't want to embarrass him, but I wasn't quiet enough.

Instead of being oppressed arsenic he put his manus mildly but firmly complete my mouth, it only made it consciousness hotter. The secrecy of what we were doing down only a bladed wall really turned maine on; Eliot mightiness person conscionable felt self-conscious.

My orgasm brought tears to my eyes, which I hid from Eliot by turning my look away.

In nan greeting we had activity again and past I stumbled retired of his level into nan agleam greyness of a North London suburb.

I felt for illustration I had 20 years ago, getting retired of a boy's furniture not knowing wherever I was, only this clip I was going location to 3 kids and an angry hubby and a dog. It was a strangeness that could not beryllium settled — but a bully strangeness.

• Names person been changed. Annabel Bond is simply a pseudonym.